A few people have asked me if I’m writing, because they are not seeing much on the blog on a regular basis. I have excuses, but they are weak, like work and home and life. I also have baggage, realizing that I have chosen to pack and carry my own bags is part of who I am as a writer. A few of the heavier pieces in my luggage comes to mind:
- When I was a tween one night at the dinner table I said something which I probably thought was very clever or witty to which Cindy said “Every time you open your mouth something stupid comes out.” Everybody laughed, but me. Now, I know that my sister Cindy is one of my biggest supporters and loves me unconditionally and would hate to be one of the ones putting a brick in my luggage. And I know that the response to this teenage event should be ‘get over it.’ But, isn’t it the moments like this that help to define us? It’s not a bad thing to hold on to because it makes me think before I write. Words have meaning and we should be ready to carry the weight of the words we put forth. I don’t blame Cindy, I thank her.
- I read slowly and seek meaning in what I read – which is also the way I write. S-L-O-W-L-Y.
- I go through periods. I am not one of those writers who feel compelled to write everyday, every story, all the time. It frustrates, confines, and stymies me to feel I ‘have’ to write, or that I need to make it ‘work,’ or that it is a discipline that I have to do. Which leads me to…
- I’m lazy. When I was in the 8th grade my Mom took me to the doctor in our small Midwest farm town because I would come home from school and take a nap. She thought that something must be wrong with me. Dr. Leonard ran some test and then sat us both down, “Edna,” he said “there is nothing wrong with Lisa, she’s just lazy.” So there, it’s clinical. (Is there a pill for lazy?)
- I am motivated by audience, affirmation, appreciation, applause...and that’s just the A’s.
- Another excuse, going back to #1 and words having meaning. My writing is one of seeking ‘something’. I want it to have that kernel of ‘…something more…not for sure what, but something more…’ Maybe that seeking is for some shades of truth, as each of us recognize and embrace small truths (not Truth with a capital T because I know where that lies for me) and I would like you to enjoy the seeking with me. I feel that seeking meaning should not be done lightly and shared willy-nilly. It takes time and it takes long pauses between writing for truths to settle in to one’s psyche.
Enough of excuses — hey, that was quite a bit of writing!